One of my best friends called me the other day to mourn the loss of her ex-boyfriend. (Apparently she felt a connection to me since I've made similar mistakes myself!) I think this guy is emotional baggage in human form, but obviously I'm biased towards her well-being. As she explained the story to me, I found myself having flashbacks to things I have said and done at one time or another. (Oh, love can be dangerously blind!!) After our two-hour conversation I felt an overwhelming desire to write this post. Below I have made a list of "warning signs" that I wish I had discovered earlier in my life.
If your boyfriend talks to his ex regularly and swears they are "just friends", listen to that voice inside that tells you there's something wrong. (That voice is there for a reason... there IS something wrong!)
If you never hear from your love interest unless he's drunk or in trouble... RUN! Don't look back!! These guys never learn. They will suck all the life out of you. No matter how kind, loving, or loyal you think you are, they will always leave you broken-hearted. You can't be a therapist and a girlfriend at the same time... trust me, I would know!!
So you've found the perfect guy. Everyone loves him and nobody ever has ANYTHING negative to say. (If it sounds too good to be true...IT IS!) It's been my experience that people who never ruffle feathers don't really know who they are. This is one of the MOST dangerous kinds of people to be involved with... PERIOD.
When the wisest, most loyal people in your life don't approve of your significant other, hear them out. Typically these are the people in your life who know you best and love you most. (Yes, even more than your fabulous boyfriend!)
If you always find yourself making excuses for your boyfriend - STOP! Whatever it is that your defending him for, let him work it out. Good men will eventually solve their own problems, and they take responsibility for them in the meantime.
If you're discussing marriage, but your boyfriend keeps dodging the issue, he's buying time. This has nothing to do with finances or scheduling or any other excuse. Face it. He's just not that into you. It's not a fear of commitment - it's you. (I mean that in the most compassionate way possible.)
Pretty much it comes down to this. If the man is not doing everything humanly possible to be with you, if he's constantly thinking of himself, and if there's always something more important than you (i.e. work, school, sports, friends, family, etc.) then take a deep breath, put on your big girl panties, and BREAK-UP with him!
We don't have to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. It's possible for us to learn from the mistakes of others in order to save ourselves time and heartache. And there are GOOD guys out there who know what they want and go after it. (I'm married to one of them!) I'm not judging you. I've been in each of these situations at one time or another... I've even been in some of them twice! The truth is, love is difficult, but let's not make it any harder than it has to be. Good luck, and may the force by with you!
No comments:
Post a Comment