Naked on the Stage

I'm friends with strippers. You probably didn't know that about me. I don't really want to get into specifics here, but I will tell you that I do not dance. Now that we've gotten that settled, let's move on.

The other night, I was with one of the dancing ladies, and she was talking about the pressures of life: parenting issues, financial stress, relational disappointment. As I listened to her share her story, I began to try and put myself in her 4 inch stiletto heels. Here's a mom trying to do what she can to get by, working at the only job she knows, thinking about how her choices will impact the life of the child she loves so much. Granted, we come from two very different perspectives, but aren't we all pretty much the same? Aren't those the kinds of questions that keep me awake at night? It got me thinking.

Before our daughter was born, my husband and I decided that I would work part time once the baby arrived. I've always dreamed of staying home and raising lots of kids. Fortunately, a part time position became available and I was able to cut my hours back to 2 days a week. Unfortunately I was later diagnosed with cancer and our medical bills skyrocketed. At that point we had to make another decision: increase my hours at work or go into debt. So, we prayed about it, we found a great daycare, and I began working four days a week.

I would be lying if I said that I don't think about this decision daily. Will I look back on this time and regret not being there? Could we have survived on such a small income? Would it have been better to live with some debt? In the end, we did what we believed was best for our family. But would everyone support my decision? Certainly there are people out there- friends even- who may question my decision. Shoot, some would down-right disagree with me! And there's still the possibility that I just flat-out got it wrong. What if my limited mind was unable to imagine the endless possibilities that God would have provided had I made a different choice- taken a leap of faith?

Now before everybody gets their panties in wad, let me be clear. I am not trying to compare working moms of any kind with being immoral. (That's not my theology.) And, I'm not trying to rationalize behavior. (I believe in a God of holiness.) What I am trying to consider is that most of us are attempting to live the best life we can, and along the way we must make hard choices. Sometimes we get it right, sometimes we get it wrong, and sometimes we don't know at all. But, when we know better we are called to do better. Maybe it would help if we all could remember that in some way or another, we are all naked on the stage.

Jesus Sold Separately

The night before my family celebrated Christmas, my sister and I were assisting Santa Claus and setting out some toys for the next morning. Amanda had gotten the Little People manger scene for both of our girls. As we opened the boxes and set out all the pieces I noticed that baby Jesus was missing. Shocked, I asked Amanda to look through her package. To our surprise we had only purchased half of the manger scene. Apparently, you have to buy the actual scene (i.e. stable, animals, palm trees, inn keeper, etc.) but the characters are sold separately! Can you believe it? I mean, who cares about the stable- without the baby Jesus you're pretty much stuck with a barn. Jesus, Mary, Joseph, those are the principal players. That's what we were really after...Right? Merry Christmas girls, have fun playing with the palm trees...Seriously?

I believe that this Little People stuff is dirty business. How tricky can you be? They're just preying upon sincere, albeit slightly distracted, mamas trying to get all of their Christmas shopping done. If we had actually paid attention to the set, we might have noticed the lack of key figures and believe-you-me we would have paid a pretty penny for the other half. (Still will when they get it back in stock!) The toy makers know this, so they split up the stuff you really want. That way, you pay double- they make double!

Now, the Little People drama is little business in the grand scheme of things, but I have recently encountered a scheme of a much larger magnitude. Steve and I purchased our used Passat station wagon about a year and a half ago. Since that time, we have had multiple problems with it, but I love driving it...when it works! About a week before Christmas, (and a day before we were leaving to go out of town), Steve took our car to be looked at because the check engine light came on. After running some diagnostic tests, the mechanic told us that we most likely had an oil sludge problem that was particular to our make and model of Passat wagon. The recommendation was to take the car to the Volkswagon dealership in order to be serviced.

To make a VERY LONG story short, we spent the majority of our two-week Christmas break haggling with the local Volkswagon dealership as well as VW customer service regarding work and payment. Apparently, there was a class action settlement regarding our make and model of car due to the oil sludge problem, BUT the settlement did not cover our year! According to the company, the 2005 model of the car did not exhibit the same issues as the previous years. Now, the earlier repairs on the car we have paid out of pocket without much fuss, but these recent repairs have cost us $2000 plus the $500 dollars we paid out of pocket to rent a car to get home for the holidays- Not to mention that the repairs took almost 3 weeks to complete! AND would you believe that today I took the car back in for more work! Yes, my car needs another $500 worth of work!

Now, I have tried to be polite about this whole thing (I am from Mississippi after all, and we have standards.), but enough is enough. Steve and I have both asked Volkswagon corporate to make this right. We have expressed our love for our car and our desire to remain loyal customers in the future if this problem is resolved. Unfortunately, phone call after phone call leads to more frustration and disappointment. Up until now not one employee has taken any responsibility or offered consolation. However, we did get an offer for $1000 off a new car- yeah right! I am posting this today as a warning for all the consumers out there. Be careful-Sometimes we don't get exactly what we paid for. Sometimes, Jesus is sold separately!

Resolved

It is officially 2011. Wow! Where did the time go? Now, I already know what you're thinking. I haven't updated this thing in about 2 years. I know that is a ridiculously long time, but a lot of things have happened since then. Shortly after I began blogging, I found out I was pregnant. If you've been there, then you know how quickly your life changes. Suddenly, my love of words was replaced by a love of SLEEP and a constant feeling of nausea. And my free time was taken up by everything baby.

Once pregnancy was over the real mama drama began. When my daughter was about 4 months old I found a strange lump in my neck. I'm naturally paranoid and having a new baby certainly didn't help, but when my husband noticed it, I really freaked out. To make a painfully long story short, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Two surgeries and one radioactive iodine treatment later, I am officially in remission. So, 2009 was blissfully happy and 2010 kicked me in the face. Hopefully 2011 will bring us back to balance.

Now that I've explained my absence, I hope y'all will forgive me and we can move on to the more important issues at hand. RESOLUTIONS! We all know of things in our life that we'd like to change, and January 1st gives us a good excuse to accomplish them- or at least attempt to! After thoughtful consideration, my family and I have identified specific areas to target this year.

Health: Complete P90X. I ambitiously started this torture treatment last year, but like I said baby, cancer, blah, blah, blah. Beach body take two!

Family: Read to my little girl everyday. I tried to do this when she was a baby, but its difficult to read to a crying infant when you're trying to put her to sleep. It seemed much more idyllic in my head.

Marriage: Date night returns. Like I mentioned earlier, 2010 was a round house kick to the face, and in the process romance was killed. In the words of Justin Timberlake we're bringing sexy back. (Sorry, Nana, if you're reading this!)

Faith: Memorize scripture daily. I have a active spiritual life, but discipline gave way to sleep in 2010 and I'd like to correct that this year.

Intellect: Blog. It helps out my mental functioning to form complete sentences related to adult conversation. If I don't do this, I will become lost eternally in baby land and will forever speak Sesame Street. Hopefully I will show some level of consistency this year. I'd hate to get to 2013 and realize I'd abandoned my blog- AGAIN!

Just Because: Learn Spanish.

So there's my list. Happy New Year to all! I'd love to hear about your resolutions. Share if you dare...

Feminism Revisited

I have not blogged in about two months. However, that does not mean that my mind wasn't running wild with thoughts for new entries. I've been considering the topic of feminism for quite some time. Since the release of the new Eminem video (which portrays Sarah Palin as a sex toy without anything to offer other than her anatomy), I decided today was as good a time as any. Obviously  there will continue to be assaults on femininity by ignorant, angry men as long as the world turns, but what is remarkable to me is the war that women have waged (and continue to wage) against their own kind. There are a couple of major mistakes that the feminist movement has made. And I believe that if these are not corrected, the future of women is in jeopardy. The overall sense of anger that defines the "movement" as well as the attempt to emasculate the male gender are both characteristics that turn many women off as far as feminism is concerned.

Why does the word feminism have to be so angry and hateful? Since when did feminist imply that women were anti conservative, anti makeup, anti motherhood, anti woman? It seems to me that in a pursuit for equality, some women have gone to the other end of the spectrum completely. We saw much of this anger displayed during the recent Presidential election. Women turned against their own kind in a psychotic rush to promote the Democratic agenda. Sarah Palin was called everything but a white woman in order to lessen her credibility with the American people. And the worst part of all of this is that the women were the most vicious in their attacks. Both Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin were attacked for their looks (Hillary was not pretty. Sarah was too pretty), their family life (Hillary was ridiculed for keeping her marriage together. Sarah was slammed for being a working mom.), and their ability to lead (Hillary  was too emotional. Sarah was too folksy.) And many of these attacks were at the hands of women!! It is tragic to see prominent women go for the jugular when they disagree politically with a member of their own gender. It was like reliving High School with cameras rolling. All of us should recognize that we cut off our noses to spite our own faces... none of us won that fight. 

The other major downfall of the "feminist movement" (I hope you can hear the sarcasm in my tone) is the unending attempt to make men look like complete idiots. I actually consider myself a feminist in the most traditional sense of the word. I wholeheartedly believe in the ability of women to accomplish a great number of things (Presidency and Vice-Presidency included). However, I do not wish to castrate the male gender completely. Why do we always think that to elevate one race, gender, or people group we must bring others to their knees? Some of the most supportive people in my life have been men (my father, my uncle, and my husband to name a few). Without these men and the devotion that they have shown, I would not have pursued a Master's degree or a career. I am grateful for the role that they have played in my life and I would never try to diminish that in any way. Strong women are who they are because of strong male and female role models. Any one who says differently is mistaken (or mislead!). 

Basically the point is this, the word feminist has been hijacked by the left-wing, pro-choice, anti-conservative women who have a gigantic chip on their shoulder when it comes to the role of men in our society today. I believe that the smart girls need to take back a word that should promote respect, equality, and justice for women and for humanity. It's time for us to revisit this idea so that our daughters and  granddaughters don't have to be the sex symbols in rap videos or the target for irrational politicians with biased agendas.   

25 Things

Several of my friends have tagged me on Facebook in their 25 Things, and I've decided to give in to the peer pressure. So, for the first and last time, here's a silly little blog about me.

1. I am really bad at the computer. The only reason that I got this blog started is because my friends Jenny Ruth and Andrew helped me set it up. I have to type this list on my blog because I can't figure out how to do it on Facebook... Sad.

2. The best day of my life was my wedding day. I am always wishing that I could relive that day just one more time. Once, I put my dress back on and wore it around my house. (No one else was home.)

3. The scariest thing I ever did was to move 10 hours away from my family to a state where I only knew one person. (B-Ray is the best!!)

4. My house is old and I love it. I would rather live in an old house with character than a new house with modern comforts.

5. When I was in 3rd grade I never talked. I would whisper answers to my best friend Jenna and she would tell our teacher what I said. (When I tell people that now they don't believe me.) 

6. Once I had a boyfriend compare me to a Krispy Kreme doughnut. (At the time I thought that was a good thing... Ugh! Stupid girl!!)

7. I don't believe in government bailouts. 

8. When I'm in a wedding (mine or someone else's) I get a spray tan, whiten my teeth, wear fake eyelashes, have my hair done... the works! I think it's only right to go the extra mile when you're a bridesmaid. No one wants ugly wedding pictures!

9. I have known since high school that I want to adopt children. 

10. I hated high school. I would NEVER go back... not for a million dollars!

11. Cooking is my therapy. (My Aunt Joy passed on her love of cooking to me. My Uncle Malcolm gave me his passion for good wine!)

12. Once I ate a piece of combo pie (peanut butter on top/ brownie on bottom) that was so good I almost cried. It was embarrassing.

13. I would rather read a good book than watch T.V. I just finished a great one by a girl named Renee Altson called, Stumbling Toward Faith. It is not for the faint of heart. 

14. My husband and I looked up the meaning of our names the other day. We laughed because mine said, "dweller by the dark stream". If you knew me, you'd think this was really funny. Sometimes I have a dark side.

15. One time my boss told me that I am smarter than people give me credit for. (Is that a compliment?)

16. I am a twin, but my sister and I live far apart. Sometimes we miss each other so much it hurts.

17. After college I went to seminary. People there thought I was stupid because I wear makeup and talk with a southern accent. (Thanks to Jenn and Katie I stayed anyway.)

18. Sometimes people think that I'm mean because I'm a registered Republican . (Secretly I tried to become a Democrat, but then I realized that I don't believe in big government.)

19. I believe that people have the capacity to change if they really want to.

20. My nephew was born at 27 weeks. A former Planned Parenthood nurse told me that he wouldn't be able to survive... He did.

21. I love rescue animals. My husband and I have two dogs and a cat. They all sleep in the bed with us.

22. I am a Christian. I hate when people talk about Christianity like it's a bad thing. I believe you can love God and people at the same time.

23. I have some of the best friends in the world. I had 13 bridesmaids in my wedding, and I love each and every one of them! (Some people think that 13 bridesmaids is tacky... I think it's southern.)

24. My mother-in-law has a cozy home. I love to visit her. We sit on the couch, by the fireplace, in our pajamas and drink coffee. 

25. My goal in life is to live close to my family again. The happiest times of my life involve spending time with people that I love. My family is the best!!

Baby Boom

Many of you have already heard the story of the mother in California who recently gave birth to octuplets. I don't know about you, but I can't even begin to imagine how in the world that was possible! I have a tremendous amount of respect for this woman in that her physical strength alone has to be significantly above average in order to carry that many children at once.

However, as someone who works with children in abuse situations, I am greatly concerned about the future of these eight children. Apparently, this is not a case of "natural conception". This mother already has six children who live in a three bedroom home along with their grandparents. Mom reportedly has no job and is living off of her parents' resources. Several news sources have also reported that the single 33-year-old mother is attempting to make money by becoming a "parenting expert". Now I don't know about you, but I can't imagine that a person choosing to have 14 children (eight by invitro fertilization) without the help of a significant other or a reliable source of income could be considered an expert at parenting. And to top it all off, she has reportedly seeking a career in television (reality TV to be exact) in order to provide for her family.

I don't mean to sound judgmental toward this woman. But let's be clear, she has worked quite hard to bring eight additional children into the world when she is already having difficulty providing for the six that occupy her parent's home. (Sometimes people are victims of circumstance. Other times individuals create their own crises.)

Now the reality is that this family will not be investigated by social services unless a report is made to the appropriate authorities. This sounds quite simple. However, the reality is that children have very few rights in this country. And this mother would have to do something pretty bad before outside agencies will intervene. I have heard more than my fair share of horror stories concerning the treatment of children in my state and those same stories are happening in your state as well. 

The reason that I am bringing this up is not to depress you, but to remind the Christian community that we have a responsibility here. We must intentionally invest ourselves in the lives of those around us. Instead of making this family a "freak show" that we watch on reality TV, let's invest in their real lives. Aren't we more that voyeurs waiting for this young woman to fail her family and herself? Now, we don't all live in California, but you can bet that there are families all around you that need help. What if we looked for people to connect with? What if we invested in their lives? 

The reality is that social services are trying to protect children, but they do a poor job at best. No government agency can provide the support that individual families need. The truth is that we would rather make the government responsible for the sick and poor and oppressed, but the reality is that WE are responsible for those things. Social justice is important, but it cannot replace personal responsibility. This young mother's choices were unwise and the truth is that her children could pay the ultimate price. Let's not leave this in the hands of overwhelmed and under paid social workers. Let's live out what we believe.

The Yesterday Show

Once upon a time in a land far away there was something called The Today Show. Sadly, the show died (along with the rest of journalism) when the evil NBC Empire took over. NBC wanted everyone to believe what they believed so they decided not to report the news. Instead, facts were replaced with opinions and The Today Show was replaced with a show that looked remarkably similar, but sounded very different indeed. It was called The Yesterday Show. 

The Today Show would report on new topics every morning, but The Yesterday Show could not do this. Instead of hearing about current news events, viewers would now hear the same exact stories every single day. The show sounded something like this:

"Good Morning! This is "today" January 30, 2009. I'm Meredith Viera and this is Matt Lauer. Let's take a look at stories making headlines:" 

 

Matt: "The failing economy is a result of the failed Bush Administration, but President Obama will fix it. Blah, blah, blah."

Meredith: "Sarah Palin is a joke. Blah, blah, blah." 

Matt: "President Obama is awesomeness in human form. Blah, blah, blah." 

Meredith: "Michelle Obama will be the new "Mommy in Chief". Hahaha! Blah, blah, blah." 

Matt: "Now Ann will take a look at other news stories..."

Ann: "The economy is really bad. Blah, blah, blah. The war continues as Americans struggle to keep their homes. Blah, blah, blah. Soon President Obama will put on his Superman cape and stop the fighting in the Middle East. Now here's Al with a look at the weather."

Al: "Well, it looks like we will have some weather today. That's what's happening around the country. Here's what's happening in your neck of the woods."

Unfortunately, people stopped watching The Yesterday Show because everyone knew what they would say. Americans actually wanted to hear real news, not just the same old blah, blah, blah day after day. Maybe someone should have told NBC before their empire collapsed.  

The End.

Moral of the story: Telling the truth is good.