Feminism Revisited

I have not blogged in about two months. However, that does not mean that my mind wasn't running wild with thoughts for new entries. I've been considering the topic of feminism for quite some time. Since the release of the new Eminem video (which portrays Sarah Palin as a sex toy without anything to offer other than her anatomy), I decided today was as good a time as any. Obviously  there will continue to be assaults on femininity by ignorant, angry men as long as the world turns, but what is remarkable to me is the war that women have waged (and continue to wage) against their own kind. There are a couple of major mistakes that the feminist movement has made. And I believe that if these are not corrected, the future of women is in jeopardy. The overall sense of anger that defines the "movement" as well as the attempt to emasculate the male gender are both characteristics that turn many women off as far as feminism is concerned.

Why does the word feminism have to be so angry and hateful? Since when did feminist imply that women were anti conservative, anti makeup, anti motherhood, anti woman? It seems to me that in a pursuit for equality, some women have gone to the other end of the spectrum completely. We saw much of this anger displayed during the recent Presidential election. Women turned against their own kind in a psychotic rush to promote the Democratic agenda. Sarah Palin was called everything but a white woman in order to lessen her credibility with the American people. And the worst part of all of this is that the women were the most vicious in their attacks. Both Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin were attacked for their looks (Hillary was not pretty. Sarah was too pretty), their family life (Hillary was ridiculed for keeping her marriage together. Sarah was slammed for being a working mom.), and their ability to lead (Hillary  was too emotional. Sarah was too folksy.) And many of these attacks were at the hands of women!! It is tragic to see prominent women go for the jugular when they disagree politically with a member of their own gender. It was like reliving High School with cameras rolling. All of us should recognize that we cut off our noses to spite our own faces... none of us won that fight. 

The other major downfall of the "feminist movement" (I hope you can hear the sarcasm in my tone) is the unending attempt to make men look like complete idiots. I actually consider myself a feminist in the most traditional sense of the word. I wholeheartedly believe in the ability of women to accomplish a great number of things (Presidency and Vice-Presidency included). However, I do not wish to castrate the male gender completely. Why do we always think that to elevate one race, gender, or people group we must bring others to their knees? Some of the most supportive people in my life have been men (my father, my uncle, and my husband to name a few). Without these men and the devotion that they have shown, I would not have pursued a Master's degree or a career. I am grateful for the role that they have played in my life and I would never try to diminish that in any way. Strong women are who they are because of strong male and female role models. Any one who says differently is mistaken (or mislead!). 

Basically the point is this, the word feminist has been hijacked by the left-wing, pro-choice, anti-conservative women who have a gigantic chip on their shoulder when it comes to the role of men in our society today. I believe that the smart girls need to take back a word that should promote respect, equality, and justice for women and for humanity. It's time for us to revisit this idea so that our daughters and  granddaughters don't have to be the sex symbols in rap videos or the target for irrational politicians with biased agendas.   

25 Things

Several of my friends have tagged me on Facebook in their 25 Things, and I've decided to give in to the peer pressure. So, for the first and last time, here's a silly little blog about me.

1. I am really bad at the computer. The only reason that I got this blog started is because my friends Jenny Ruth and Andrew helped me set it up. I have to type this list on my blog because I can't figure out how to do it on Facebook... Sad.

2. The best day of my life was my wedding day. I am always wishing that I could relive that day just one more time. Once, I put my dress back on and wore it around my house. (No one else was home.)

3. The scariest thing I ever did was to move 10 hours away from my family to a state where I only knew one person. (B-Ray is the best!!)

4. My house is old and I love it. I would rather live in an old house with character than a new house with modern comforts.

5. When I was in 3rd grade I never talked. I would whisper answers to my best friend Jenna and she would tell our teacher what I said. (When I tell people that now they don't believe me.) 

6. Once I had a boyfriend compare me to a Krispy Kreme doughnut. (At the time I thought that was a good thing... Ugh! Stupid girl!!)

7. I don't believe in government bailouts. 

8. When I'm in a wedding (mine or someone else's) I get a spray tan, whiten my teeth, wear fake eyelashes, have my hair done... the works! I think it's only right to go the extra mile when you're a bridesmaid. No one wants ugly wedding pictures!

9. I have known since high school that I want to adopt children. 

10. I hated high school. I would NEVER go back... not for a million dollars!

11. Cooking is my therapy. (My Aunt Joy passed on her love of cooking to me. My Uncle Malcolm gave me his passion for good wine!)

12. Once I ate a piece of combo pie (peanut butter on top/ brownie on bottom) that was so good I almost cried. It was embarrassing.

13. I would rather read a good book than watch T.V. I just finished a great one by a girl named Renee Altson called, Stumbling Toward Faith. It is not for the faint of heart. 

14. My husband and I looked up the meaning of our names the other day. We laughed because mine said, "dweller by the dark stream". If you knew me, you'd think this was really funny. Sometimes I have a dark side.

15. One time my boss told me that I am smarter than people give me credit for. (Is that a compliment?)

16. I am a twin, but my sister and I live far apart. Sometimes we miss each other so much it hurts.

17. After college I went to seminary. People there thought I was stupid because I wear makeup and talk with a southern accent. (Thanks to Jenn and Katie I stayed anyway.)

18. Sometimes people think that I'm mean because I'm a registered Republican . (Secretly I tried to become a Democrat, but then I realized that I don't believe in big government.)

19. I believe that people have the capacity to change if they really want to.

20. My nephew was born at 27 weeks. A former Planned Parenthood nurse told me that he wouldn't be able to survive... He did.

21. I love rescue animals. My husband and I have two dogs and a cat. They all sleep in the bed with us.

22. I am a Christian. I hate when people talk about Christianity like it's a bad thing. I believe you can love God and people at the same time.

23. I have some of the best friends in the world. I had 13 bridesmaids in my wedding, and I love each and every one of them! (Some people think that 13 bridesmaids is tacky... I think it's southern.)

24. My mother-in-law has a cozy home. I love to visit her. We sit on the couch, by the fireplace, in our pajamas and drink coffee. 

25. My goal in life is to live close to my family again. The happiest times of my life involve spending time with people that I love. My family is the best!!

Baby Boom

Many of you have already heard the story of the mother in California who recently gave birth to octuplets. I don't know about you, but I can't even begin to imagine how in the world that was possible! I have a tremendous amount of respect for this woman in that her physical strength alone has to be significantly above average in order to carry that many children at once.

However, as someone who works with children in abuse situations, I am greatly concerned about the future of these eight children. Apparently, this is not a case of "natural conception". This mother already has six children who live in a three bedroom home along with their grandparents. Mom reportedly has no job and is living off of her parents' resources. Several news sources have also reported that the single 33-year-old mother is attempting to make money by becoming a "parenting expert". Now I don't know about you, but I can't imagine that a person choosing to have 14 children (eight by invitro fertilization) without the help of a significant other or a reliable source of income could be considered an expert at parenting. And to top it all off, she has reportedly seeking a career in television (reality TV to be exact) in order to provide for her family.

I don't mean to sound judgmental toward this woman. But let's be clear, she has worked quite hard to bring eight additional children into the world when she is already having difficulty providing for the six that occupy her parent's home. (Sometimes people are victims of circumstance. Other times individuals create their own crises.)

Now the reality is that this family will not be investigated by social services unless a report is made to the appropriate authorities. This sounds quite simple. However, the reality is that children have very few rights in this country. And this mother would have to do something pretty bad before outside agencies will intervene. I have heard more than my fair share of horror stories concerning the treatment of children in my state and those same stories are happening in your state as well. 

The reason that I am bringing this up is not to depress you, but to remind the Christian community that we have a responsibility here. We must intentionally invest ourselves in the lives of those around us. Instead of making this family a "freak show" that we watch on reality TV, let's invest in their real lives. Aren't we more that voyeurs waiting for this young woman to fail her family and herself? Now, we don't all live in California, but you can bet that there are families all around you that need help. What if we looked for people to connect with? What if we invested in their lives? 

The reality is that social services are trying to protect children, but they do a poor job at best. No government agency can provide the support that individual families need. The truth is that we would rather make the government responsible for the sick and poor and oppressed, but the reality is that WE are responsible for those things. Social justice is important, but it cannot replace personal responsibility. This young mother's choices were unwise and the truth is that her children could pay the ultimate price. Let's not leave this in the hands of overwhelmed and under paid social workers. Let's live out what we believe.

The Yesterday Show

Once upon a time in a land far away there was something called The Today Show. Sadly, the show died (along with the rest of journalism) when the evil NBC Empire took over. NBC wanted everyone to believe what they believed so they decided not to report the news. Instead, facts were replaced with opinions and The Today Show was replaced with a show that looked remarkably similar, but sounded very different indeed. It was called The Yesterday Show. 

The Today Show would report on new topics every morning, but The Yesterday Show could not do this. Instead of hearing about current news events, viewers would now hear the same exact stories every single day. The show sounded something like this:

"Good Morning! This is "today" January 30, 2009. I'm Meredith Viera and this is Matt Lauer. Let's take a look at stories making headlines:" 

 

Matt: "The failing economy is a result of the failed Bush Administration, but President Obama will fix it. Blah, blah, blah."

Meredith: "Sarah Palin is a joke. Blah, blah, blah." 

Matt: "President Obama is awesomeness in human form. Blah, blah, blah." 

Meredith: "Michelle Obama will be the new "Mommy in Chief". Hahaha! Blah, blah, blah." 

Matt: "Now Ann will take a look at other news stories..."

Ann: "The economy is really bad. Blah, blah, blah. The war continues as Americans struggle to keep their homes. Blah, blah, blah. Soon President Obama will put on his Superman cape and stop the fighting in the Middle East. Now here's Al with a look at the weather."

Al: "Well, it looks like we will have some weather today. That's what's happening around the country. Here's what's happening in your neck of the woods."

Unfortunately, people stopped watching The Yesterday Show because everyone knew what they would say. Americans actually wanted to hear real news, not just the same old blah, blah, blah day after day. Maybe someone should have told NBC before their empire collapsed.  

The End.

Moral of the story: Telling the truth is good. 

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

One of my best friends called me the other day to mourn the loss of her ex-boyfriend. (Apparently she felt a connection to me since I've made similar mistakes myself!) I think this guy is emotional baggage in human form, but obviously I'm biased towards her well-being. As she explained the story to me, I found myself having flashbacks to things I have said and done at one time or another. (Oh, love can be dangerously blind!!) After our two-hour conversation I felt an overwhelming desire to write this post. Below I have made a list of "warning signs" that I wish I had discovered earlier in my life. 

If your boyfriend talks to his ex regularly and swears they are "just friends", listen to that voice inside that tells you there's something wrong. (That voice is there for a reason... there IS something wrong!)

If you never hear from your love interest unless he's drunk or in trouble... RUN! Don't look back!! These guys never learn. They will suck all the life out of you. No matter how kind, loving, or loyal you think you are, they will always leave you broken-hearted. You can't be a therapist and a girlfriend at the same time... trust me, I would know!!

So you've found the perfect guy. Everyone loves him and nobody ever has ANYTHING negative to say. (If it sounds too good to be true...IT IS!) It's been my experience that people who never ruffle feathers don't really know who they are. This is one of the MOST dangerous kinds of people to be involved with... PERIOD.

When the wisest, most loyal people in your life don't approve of your significant other, hear them out. Typically these are the people in your life who know you best and love you most. (Yes, even more than your fabulous boyfriend!) 

If you always find yourself making excuses for your boyfriend - STOP! Whatever it is that your defending him for, let him work it out. Good men will eventually solve their own problems, and they take responsibility for them in the meantime.

If you're discussing marriage, but your boyfriend keeps dodging the issue, he's buying time. This has nothing to do with finances or scheduling or any other excuse. Face it. He's just not that into you. It's not a fear of commitment - it's you. (I mean that in the most compassionate way possible.)

Pretty much it comes down to this. If the man is not doing everything humanly possible to be with you, if he's constantly thinking of himself, and if there's always something more important than you (i.e. work, school, sports, friends, family, etc.) then take a deep breath, put on your big girl panties, and BREAK-UP with him! 

We don't have to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. It's possible for us to learn from the mistakes of others in order to save ourselves time and heartache. And there are GOOD guys out there who know what they want and go after it. (I'm married to one of them!) I'm not judging you. I've been in each of these situations at one time or another... I've even been in some of them twice! The truth is, love is difficult, but let's not make it any harder than it has to be. Good luck, and may the force by with you! 

So much to say!

Last week I was having dinner with some friends who have an 8 year old son. As my friend was trying to get her energetic son into the car to leave, he begged and pleaded not to go. Finally he jumped back into the house and said, "Wait! Wait! I just have so much more to tell you!" I just died laughing!! It was like I was watching a little version of myself! So many words; so little time! 

I recently read a comment posted by a reader which got me thinking. My last several blogs have had a decidedly political tone to them. And while I strongly believe in the Christian community's obligation to stand up to our government (particularly when our current laws fly in the face of truth and justice), I don't believe that all of our efforts should be politically focused. What is so unique about the church is that we have the ability to reach far beyond the realm of the government. The church can actually impact the lives of individuals in specific communities around the world. 

At work last week, some colleagues and I were lamenting the lack of protection for children in our society. (Let me be clear. I do not work for a religious organization of any kind. However, all of us, from all kinds of backgrounds, see this as a big problem in our country.) Anyway, as we were talking we all came to the conclusion that regardless of our governments or agencies, true change will only come about if we are willing to go outside of our 8 to 5 professional world and allow our passion to enter into our personal lives. We cannot only care about the lives of others while we're "on the clock". We must be willing to embrace these beliefs as a way of life. 

Which brings me back to the church. If we are going to preach the words of Jesus Christ, then let us live out those words as well. Let's role up our sleeves and get our hands dirty doing real work for real people. If our goal is to simply give money or sing songs then nothing will happen. But what if we invited those people into our homes? Specifically, what if we used our time, money, and resources in order to adopt children in need? What if we opened our homes to foster children? What if we opened our lives to unwed single mothers? What if we just changed our lives instead of waiting for our government to do it for us?  

Birth of a New Nation?

Friday afternoon, While most of us were winding down from our long work week, our government (specifically our President) was preparing (and signing) legislation that would send our tax dollars overseas to fund "family planning" in foreign countries. That's right America, although we're broke and our nation is in a severe economic crisis, we have magically found millions of dollars to use in order to abort unwanted babies in third world countries. (Well thank heavens President Obama is going to end the war! I would hate for America to use tax dollars to shed innocent blood.)

Let's put party politics aside for a moment. I don't think you need to be a conservative or a liberal to see the dichotomous thinking here. (You'd have to be blind not to see it!) Out of one side of his mouth President Obama speaks about values, integrity, honesty, and restoring the American people's trust in our government. However, he conveniently uses a sleepy Friday afternoon to reverse a controversial piece of legislation. Where was the mainstream media then? Is there even one of you who read a news report about this on Saturday morning? Did Matt Lauer or Katie Couric cover this on their cable news shows? I don't know about you, but that does very little to restore my hope in government. It gives me even less hope for the next four years.

Do not misunderstand me. I want President Obama to lead our country with integrity. I desperately hope that we will look back and see that our 44th president was a man of honor who displayed leadership and humility. Unfortunately, it is this kind of power play that makes me feel hopeless instead of hopeful. I'm not even sure our President can articulate his views on human life. Does he believe that all life is precious, or does it just apply to those with voices to speak? Does he believe in protecting everyone or only those who can stand up and fight? These are questions that deserve an answer.

Now, there's something else that we need to be aware of regarding family planning. President Obama is not the only one in our government that is a huge advocate for abortion and so called "women's rights". (Please keep in mind that I myself am a conservative feminist, so I'd be the first one to stand up for legitimate rights regarding women.) However, Nancy Pelosi and others in the democratic party are pushing for the Freedom of Choice Act. This is legislation that would open the floodgates, so to speak, on abortion rights. This includes, but is not limited to, partial birth abortion.  

As Christians, we are responsible for protecting the sanctity of life. If we choose to ignore this issue, no one else will address it. We cannot live our lives on auto pilot thinking that someone else will speak for us. God has given all of us the ability to speak so that we can defend those who have no voice. Please, please, please stand up for what is right.

For more information on the Freedom of Choice Act, please visit the Fight FOCA website. You can also sign the petition against this bill while you're there!

Reality Check

I don't mean to be a rain cloud, but I believe that our country needs a reality check. I just finished catching up on some news and it came to my attention that the individual who hung Sarah Palin in effigy in California was trying to sell part of his display on ebay. I'm not going to spend a great deal of time responding to this incident. Most Americans can distinguish between a respectable Halloween display and a hate crime. However, I believe there is something bigger going on here.

All week we have been reading about the hope that President Obama has instilled in the American people. And yes, it is evident that there is an excitement in our country that typically accompanies a new leader. We all love a fresh start! Unfortunately, there are some things that President Obama will never be able to do for any of us. Let's take our friend in California for example. This is obviously a man filled with an unhealthy amount of anger. Regardless of our government officials or leaders, he cannot be made into joyful person. There are some things that simply must be done individually, and being responsible for our own attitudes and actions are two of those things. It is clear that cynicism and hatred have filled some of our neighbors for so long that they refuse to acknowledge the reality of their situation. No matter who our president is, we must choose today what we will stand for, what we will represent. If we choose hatred, then a newly elected official (no matter how promising or charismatic) cannot change that.   

It's time to wake up America. Mr. Obama is our president, but he can never be our savior. If we chose to be miserable when President Bush was in office, we will still be unhappy today, tomorrow, and every day that we choose anger over joy and hatred over forgiveness. Sarah Palin completed her job, and President Obama is doing his. It's time for us to do ours. 

Talkin and Walkin

Today marks the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. There aren't strong enough words to convey how detrimental this decision has been to our society. Now I realize that there are extreme right wing activists who have distorted the pro-life movement. (I do not under any circumstances support the taking of human life without direct provocation.) However, this is an issue that cannot be ignored no matter how unpopular it may be. I have given a tremendous amount of consideration to this situation and I have come to the following conclusions:

Abortion is the biggest lie that Americans have ever been fed, and we have swallowed it hook, line, and sinker. For far too long we have blindly followed the Planned Parenthood "experts" and believed their propaganda as if it were gospel truth. The problem with this (as with any lie) is that it spins a web of deceit, and we are currently tangled in that web.

I work with the economically and socially disenfranchised, so please know that I am not speaking thoughtlessly about things that I don't understand. Having said that, I believe that abortion is something used to bully poor; scared minority women into eliminating their children so that our "civilized" society does not have to deal with the harsh reality that we have an obligation to these individuals as a community. We would rather close our eyes and wish this epidemic away instead of investing in the lives of real people who need real support.

Not only is abortion detrimental to community, but it is also the reason that we have a culture of single mothers. Why would any man feel an obligation to provide for and protect a child that he has no legal rights to? Women wanting to put their child up for adoption are required (in most states) to attempt to contact the child's biological father. However, when it comes to ending that child's life, the father has no say in the matter. This is a complete contradiction! Logic has no place in this decision; Politics has the power here! Because of this insanity, men have opted to have sex without any consequences... duh! Listen girls, we can't have our cake and eat it too. Which one is it? Do we want men to be involved or not? Right now our message is ridiculous. 

The biggest problem that abortion brings to the table is the lack of concern for human life. As much as the liberal; left-wing activists will claim that abortion is a "safe" and  common procedure (see planned parenthood website), the reality is that this surgery can be physically dangerous to the mother and has a long term psychological impact. Our society is willing to look the other way while these lies are being spread, and slowly they have become commonplace in our culture. I mean pretty soon we won't have to take care of anyone... right? Babies cost to much so we abort them. Old people are unattractive and serve little functional purpose so we euthanize them. I think once upon a time their was another society like this... oh that's right it was called Nazi Germany. (And they say George W. Bush was a monster!) 

Let me get back to the point. The crazies on the right and left will never solve this problem! This is an issue that the Christian community MUST be willing to tackle. I know that there are thousands of you who are sickened by this atrocity, but what we willing to do about it? Do we support single mothers in our community? Do we advocate for crisis pregnancy centers or adoption agencies? Or better yet, do we adopt? The truth is that the world will believe our talk when they can actually see us walk. Just something to think about today.

A New Day

As of 12 o'clock today our country has a new president. In all fairness I must admit that I was not a Barack Obama supporter during the election. As you'll probably find out later in this blog, I have strong opinions that differ greatly at times from our newly elected official. However, President Obama has officially been sworn in and he will now lead us... all of us. I hope that our country will do a better job in supporting our new president than we did over the last eight years. I personally believe that our entire nation will be held accountable for the injustice that we have done to the Bush family. We are so quick to judge the former president's actions, but not one of us would have traded places with him. Hopefully history will remember everything that former President Bush accomplished, both good and bad. It would be unfair for us to conveniently re-write history in order to serve our own selfish purposes. What would we have without the truth? 

This brings me to my point for today. Let's view this change in our country as an opportunity for the church to stand up and do what is right, what we are called by God to do. Let's support our leaders and pray for their wisdom, discernment, and righteousness. Change for the sake of change is no change at all. However, change that leads us to holiness will impact the world. Although President Obama can be the leader of a movement in our culture, he alone has very little ability to change our world. True change comes from the Body of Believers being faithful to God's call on our individual lives and in the world. Let's not repeat the same bipartisan rhetoric that we've heard over the last decade. Let's put our support behind our president for our God. It's time for God's people to make a stand for the one true Agent of Change.  

Welcome!

I hate blogs. I understand your confusion. Why would I spend all this time blogging if in fact I hate blogs? Let me explain. I work closely with at-risk children and families. People in my office often hear me say things like, "If you wouldn't pass that information out to strangers on the street, why would you post it on the internet?" Unfortunately, I have seen the negative impact the internet can have when it's used for evil instead of good. However, there are times when I wish I could pass out some information on the street. I have good ideas! Seriously though, you won't read posts about what I ate for lunch or about how cute my new hairstyle looks on me. However, I will write about the things I am passionate about: politics, religion, faith, and family. I would be happy to have you join me. Please feel free to respond with feedback. (Honestly, if I had my way we'd be having these conversations face to face instead of cyberspace!)